Whether you are in a collaborative divorce process, mediation or traditional litigation, a divorce coach serves the same purposes.
Your coach is a knowledgeable navigator of divorce providing valuable information so that you can make informed decisions. For example, how to get support with your FL-150, what CDFAs do and typical information in a parenting plan. Your coach also connects you to resources needed for your divorce.
Your coach is a safe harbor throughout your divorce and the voice of reason. You have a safe place and person with whom to share your worries and fears throughout the process. The coach can provide a variety of ways to manage the waves of emotion that come with the process to steady you outside of the coaching sessions and outside the negotiation sessions. Managing stress is critical as our brains are wired for fight, flight, flee when angry or scared. However, this state inhibits critical thinking which is, yes, you guessed it, critical for divorce decisions. At the same time, your coach will keep your feet planted in your interests and best self, help you identify creative and win-win outcomes.
Your coach buoys you through the turbulent waters of anger and fear during your divorce - both your own and your spouse’s. Building your communication skills in terms of expressing yourself effectively and understanding your spouse efficiently are paramount. Methods for effective communication can be simple but difficult to implement at the beginning. Your coach assists you in articulating your goals and interests as well as provides new ways to present your ideas and concerns.
In collaborative divorce, your coach assists in the development of a short divorce story that is shared with your children and friends. Your divorce coach is also key to developing your parenting plan in a collaborative divorce. This can also be the case in mediation should you and your spouse agree to that. Once in awhile, I do see a litigating couple take the parenting plan out of court and make as many agreements as possible with a coach who is a mental health professional or attorney.Â